Stock market funny jokes

Stock market funny jokes

Author: aimboss Date: 25.05.2017

She went to the bank and floated a prophet. A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese go into a bar and order drinks.

Who picks up the bill? From a trader after a market crash: An economist walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza. The waiter asks him: A woman hears from her doctor that she only has 6 months to live.

The doctor advises her to marry an economist. What is a million years like to you? What is a million dollars like to you? Can I have a penny? Just a second …. After years of scrimping and saving a husband told his wife the good news: A new investor came to see a famous stockbroker.

A Japanese man walked into the currency exchange line in a New York bank with yen and was sent 66 mBTC. He asked the teller why he got less money than he had gotten the previous week. A father is explaining business ethics to his son who is about to go into the workforce. You give it to her.

But as she is going out the door you realize she sent it twice giving you mBTC. They see a large boar in the distance, so they jump out of their truck and level their rifles. The first one fires. A cloud of dirt erupts 1 metre to the left of the pig. The second one fires.

A cloud of dirt erupts 1 metre to the right of the pig. In hell a man passed a room where an economist was having an intimate conversation with a beautiful woman. Einstein enters a university for his first day of work. The Dean leads him to the staff room and introduces him to the others professors.

How do you find a small-cap fund manager? Find a large-cap fund manager and wait. In the first case you help finance the local community swimming pool. Why was astrology invented?

So that economics could be considered an accurate science. Start with a large fortune. Dad what is liquidity? When I look at my binary options account and wet myself. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.

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Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom.

Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. The market for raisins dried up. Caterpillar stock inched up a bit. Sun peaked at midday. Balloon prices were inflated. Scott Tissue touched a new bottom. Batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

stock market funny jokes

Watch this video on YouTube Traditions capitalism — You have 2 cows. American capitalism — You have 2 cows. The milk rights of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns 8 cows, with an option on 1 more. Sell 1 cow to buy influence with a new president of the United States, leaving you with 9 cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull. French capitalism — You have 2 cows. Japanese capitalism — You have 2 cows. German capitalism — You have 2 cows. Swiss capitalism — You have cows, none of which belong to you. Chinese capitalism — You have 2 cows. New Zealand capitalism — You have 2 cows. An investment banker stood at the pier of a small coastal village when a small boat with one fisherman docked.

Inside the boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The banker complimented the fisherman on his catch and asked how long it took to catch them. I have a full life. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, and eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats.

Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would then sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution! You would need to move to the capital city.

Then the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions! You could move to a small coastal village where you would sleep late, go fishing, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play guitar with your friends.

The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW. Notify me when new comments are added. Bitcoin broker reviews FortuneJack Coinut How scores are calculated Trading guide Getting started Binary options Investing or gambling?

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Trading jokes and humour. If you know any good trading, stock market or economics jokes please add them to the comments. You may like How to be a winning binary options trader Break even point and required win rate Binary option strategies Terms of use Binary options trading guide.

Byrne 2 years ago. Jared 2 years ago. How did the forex trader bankrupt his bartab? He was too beerish! Imogen Kingsley 10 months ago. Leave a reply Click here to cancel the reply Your email address will not be published. Bitcoin binary options news Contact us. By continuing to use this site you are agreeing to the terms of use.

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